May is the start of a new month and though we have had a TERRIBLE weekend...baby daddy stuff, sadness, and a broken tv that I still have 10 payments left on...oh ya and a broken wii remote....I am PRAYING for a better week. Gage has some odd looking spots on him, so I am sure he is infected. I just can't wait to hear the doctors...he is looking forward to playing with Mike the nurse helper...so I am praying he still works there! lol. I am going to CLEAN like a crazy person today...and go get my oil changed... and have my car checked out. I need to be ready because since Paige has to be at her dad's house until 9 pm we are leaving and driving as far as we can...then sleeping hopefully in waterloo and driving the rest of the way...if I would have had my way we'd be leaving now and be safe...but it isn't worth fighting with Brandon...I cant take him yelling at me anymore. I was amazed today...he constantly rode Gage's butt and made him feel like a terrible unwanted kid...but the neighbor boy that has ADD is his buddy and stayed at his house last night....what really pissed me off is Mason who by the way isn't related to my daughter is allowed to talk to her get in her face and what ever...but when Brandon was here...if Gage tried to play with Paige or anything Brandon would yell at him DONT TOUCH HER...you dont need to be in her face... UNREAL. I don't get him...but I am sorry Gage is has a hell of a lot more right to play with his sister than some neighbor kid.

So I am definetly ready to take the kids, get gage healed, go see the fishies, and my step mom...I would say my dad but I am really angry with him so I don't care if I see him at all. When I get home...it is prepare for GARAGE SALE time! lol I am going to downsize, and hopefully get a chunk of money to put away for a new car...and if I am really really lucky maybe just maybe I will get the second job I interviewed for this week...I have to get more money coming in somehow.

In the mean time... I am thanking CASSIE and COLEEN and my real friends for pushing this benefit for Gage...I am praying for good turnout. We have a few auction items...it's going to be small people have been hit up too much lately...but hopefully it's going to be helpfull...
I have a goal of 15,000 between the benefit, garage sales, and work...we will probably have to push back our trip to denver to have more time to save but we are officially 0.003469 % towards our goal! LOL

HOPE ALL IS WELL!
Courtney, Gage, and Baby Paige

stressed out!

Ok, so I fell at work, can't work for a few days. Real great considering I just recieved a letter stating that we no longer get the rent assistance that we were getting, a wopping $50 but hey that was groceries. so now, we won't have the money for rent or food...wonderful huh. I HATE the way the government is set up. I HATE OTTUMWA HOUSING ATHORITY... I HATE unemployment.
I need to face facts..Gage is looking really bad today. We are never going to get him help, never ever going to have a house and a yard and a garage like we want, It is going to be FOREVER before we get a car that is good enough to get to the hospital. I GIVE UP. I'm not getting gage's full ssi, not getting my full childsupport, and now I have a huge er bill to pay. I don't make much money and only get partial unemployment but hey guess what...that means I don't deserve help. I do'nt know what to say...I can't think of one positive...I have two children that because of a screwed up government I can't get anything for. What a waste of a nice day.

FAAN night at the ballpark.

Well, we had a blast at the ball park and man are we exhausted! We left before the game was over and still didn't get home til midnight! But it was great to Finally meet the Taylor's after all the time that we have connected online. I am now even more dedicated to getting Gage healed as I watched how much fun he had last night and pray to find the support we need along the way.

Gage's Video

Ok Laurie, I took your lead. I am giving this to a few groups to show what is going on with Gage...improve awareness. I hope it gets the word out!

ideas ideas ideas

Ok. so if you wanna help with the benefit I may need it! Well I recieved an email and we can use the high school cafeteria...yeah! It's really big and really nice. I am going to start calling about food today. i really don't know where to start or who to contact but here we go! The doctors nurse that was extremely rude to me said she mailed his papers for the hospital to me, haven't got them yet so hopefully they are taken care of. and Elaine, the congressmans' assistant is checking into the insurance thing. and Brandon is up in arms...about going or me taking the kids and him not seeing paige that long...I just want him to go and help me, support us, and learn that this stuff is serious...i really think he is like most of the rest of the world that thinks allergies are just something, nothing serious. Laurie, made a slide that said it takes a whole village to raise a child with allergies... I SO agree! I love when people keep saying to me that they can't believe that it is so hard or they just don't know how you do it...i do what Ihave to...it isn't easy and I don't always or maybe ever do anything right. But I know in my heart that if I just keep plugging along, eventually Gage will get better, we will have the things we want and need, a house good car, and maybe someday my kids will have all the advantages that I pray for for them. But I won't live like this forever...it will get better...this benefit is a start..a step in the right direction for Gage. I know that National Jewish can help him, I have prayed and prayed for it.

if you have any ideas...let me know!

Hoppy Easter!

Well we made it thru easter...the bunny almost didn't make it...procrastinator! lol. I had to work so Brandon kept the kids at home...good thing because Gage is majorly flaired and we all have terrible soar throats and coughs. I am meeting with the superintendant assistant tomorrow about getting gage in to another school...i relaly would like it if he liked school again. I think Eisenhower will work alot better with us. I hope at least I have friends with kids there and if I get in a bind he can go to a friends. Brandon and I are starting to get better...i am really happy about that. BIG stress relief.

So NEWS of the century! Congressman Lobesac's assistant that represents Ottumwa came to my house on Friday to discuss Gage's case. She's going to see if there is anyway that the insurance can cover it and if not...why. Not just a oh sorry he has to suffer thing. Time will tell. in the mean time I am still going to raise as much as possible and if we by miracle get help...I will atleast be able to get whatever supplies he needs....

well i suppose I will add more later..ttys

thursday huh? thank god tomorrow is friday!

well gage's skin looks TERRIBLE. I wrapped him tonight as well as his neck...he was mad and doesn't like having his neck wrapped says it chokes him. My house is a mess! and i am exhausted. I worked tonight and my feet are killing me. Paige still has a fever and is sick with a terrible cough, Gage is sick too. buy they still cuddled and fell asleep together tonight...it was soooo adorable...gage said he needed someone to cuddle and paige just climbed right up on his lap.

I really wanted to go up and see our friends tomorrow to get away but nope...sick kids put a dent in that. but thats ok...i don't have any money anyway... I am going to really really try tomorrow to get some things going as far as a fundraiser...somehow. I just need things to get better for us. I am also going to look for a different house for us and a decent running car.

well hope all is well.
ttys Courtney and kids