we are stuck at the ronald mcdonald house, I am breaking yet another promise to gage...we cant do anything. and I was told the ronald mcdonald house would help us with gas and stuff to do...nope...they cant now. something about how they paid for all the families to go to the zoo on thursday and the mall on saturday. I shouldve never came to minnesota, its not like they are helping him anyway. I hate this
the social workers here have nothing to help me...I have nothing left. I am crying and stressed.
Gage is bored and just begging to go do something. I can't afford a pool, can't take him to the park or he'll get worst, can't even afford to go to wal-mart. We have food and the ronald mcdonald house, nothing to do but watch tv. Why werent we here last week? atleast my kids couldve went to the zoo and stuff for free.
There are people here from china, jamaica, and canada...some from wisconsin and new york we have met.
well I dont have anything else to say, I am so stressed...
Hope everyone else is better.
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Monday, June 7, 2010
Rough times
Well, we are at the ronald mcdonald house in Rochester. Times are not fun...we are broke, I overdrew my account buying medicine for gage (because insurance wouldn't cover it in MN) that we can't use...ya I am not joking. I have barely any gas and now we are waiting here until our friday appointment with GI. They now think gage is having stomach problems also.
I am VERY stressed. I dont have any money to buy diapers or food really and I wont have any coming in when we get home...Gage is very woried and paige is orhnery as ever!
So where do we stand. I had hoped that they would retest his allergies to see if we had grown out of anything and I was told "there would be no testing. why? oh because his IgE is well over 6 thousand. and that means that he would test positive for anything we tested him for. " so maybe try a soy free diet ??? WHAT! how the heck do you eliminate SOY...seriously go to the store and check it out NOTHING packaged or processed...I am racking my brain. I was told keep the epipen close, hope he doesnt have the stomach issue, asthmas as good as its going to be. yep no help AT ALL. Oh and they wanted to send him to a doc for his coping skills, anxiety and just to generally help him understand this all...so I am not hearing I wanna die, why am I like this, why are you not finding a way to help me, why cant I be normal, whats wrong with me....imagine your child saying that and then think of how it would feel...oh wait we cant get help with that either ...why, you guessed it INSURANCE won't pay. if I want to put down a large deposit, I can do that...guess what I would if I could!
I am just crying and beside myself.
I am VERY stressed. I dont have any money to buy diapers or food really and I wont have any coming in when we get home...Gage is very woried and paige is orhnery as ever!
So where do we stand. I had hoped that they would retest his allergies to see if we had grown out of anything and I was told "there would be no testing. why? oh because his IgE is well over 6 thousand. and that means that he would test positive for anything we tested him for. " so maybe try a soy free diet ??? WHAT! how the heck do you eliminate SOY...seriously go to the store and check it out NOTHING packaged or processed...I am racking my brain. I was told keep the epipen close, hope he doesnt have the stomach issue, asthmas as good as its going to be. yep no help AT ALL. Oh and they wanted to send him to a doc for his coping skills, anxiety and just to generally help him understand this all...so I am not hearing I wanna die, why am I like this, why are you not finding a way to help me, why cant I be normal, whats wrong with me....imagine your child saying that and then think of how it would feel...oh wait we cant get help with that either ...why, you guessed it INSURANCE won't pay. if I want to put down a large deposit, I can do that...guess what I would if I could!
I am just crying and beside myself.
Monday, January 4, 2010
New Year
Well, lets see many positive and negative things happened in 2009, thank you to the friends that supported us through the good and the bad.
Paige is growing into a wonder adorable little angel but she is extremely mischievous! She is always trying to keep up with Gage and into anything but her toys! lol
Gage is having a rough year...well hopefully ended one. We are fighting some pretty bad flairs and infections. We have had antibiotics all but 3 weeks of the last two months. And now we are balding...that one is slightly puzzling but hope to get to docs soon. I have now officially made it though our savings...trying to keep him healthy...its not working. The doctor here thinks he has Hyper IGE. Another stressful condition that includes all he already has going on, plus a few others.
Brandon and I are really trying to figure out what to do, we are getting married, but cant afford much. So...small or no wedding in the books, would like to at least have a reception. After everything we have been through I hoped it would be a happy occassion. Well it will be someday!
We are looking for a new house this one is not made for us and I honestly think it is worst than living in the ghetto that we used to live in. Once Brandon finds a job we will be able to get back on our feet...Hope 2009 came to a good close for you all and new blessings in the new year!
LOVE YOU ALL!
Courtney and Kids
Paige is growing into a wonder adorable little angel but she is extremely mischievous! She is always trying to keep up with Gage and into anything but her toys! lol
Gage is having a rough year...well hopefully ended one. We are fighting some pretty bad flairs and infections. We have had antibiotics all but 3 weeks of the last two months. And now we are balding...that one is slightly puzzling but hope to get to docs soon. I have now officially made it though our savings...trying to keep him healthy...its not working. The doctor here thinks he has Hyper IGE. Another stressful condition that includes all he already has going on, plus a few others.
Brandon and I are really trying to figure out what to do, we are getting married, but cant afford much. So...small or no wedding in the books, would like to at least have a reception. After everything we have been through I hoped it would be a happy occassion. Well it will be someday!
We are looking for a new house this one is not made for us and I honestly think it is worst than living in the ghetto that we used to live in. Once Brandon finds a job we will be able to get back on our feet...Hope 2009 came to a good close for you all and new blessings in the new year!
LOVE YOU ALL!
Courtney and Kids
Thursday, June 18, 2009
update
Well great news... we have a car! well not really yet but as soon as we get the parts we will! Its awesome and Paige's dad and I bought it together so it has no payment! A 2005 fully loaded KIA OPTIMA EX... gorgeous and the cleanest car I have seen! I can't wait to have working windows and air oh and don't forget the 4 doors! lol
Gage's skin looks bad, his allergies are on overload...and paige has had hives for two days...but she did cut her first tooth 1 week ago and is working on her second as we speak...so its been alittle rough at my house the last week between both kids being sick and of course that meant I would get this terrible cold thing...please let us be healed this weekend! lol
I am still looking for a more permanant job, but have 5 days next week. I am trying to enroll gage in a reading program in july and he wants to do tennis. I think we missed golf signup-he keeps asking and I keep blowing him off because I don't want him to know. i couldnt afford team flip either...but we have a car!!!!
as for national jewish... we have 2000 in savings and i am praying for miracles. maybe if insurance would pull thru we came use that for travel and go in fall.
ttys~
Gage's skin looks bad, his allergies are on overload...and paige has had hives for two days...but she did cut her first tooth 1 week ago and is working on her second as we speak...so its been alittle rough at my house the last week between both kids being sick and of course that meant I would get this terrible cold thing...please let us be healed this weekend! lol
I am still looking for a more permanant job, but have 5 days next week. I am trying to enroll gage in a reading program in july and he wants to do tennis. I think we missed golf signup-he keeps asking and I keep blowing him off because I don't want him to know. i couldnt afford team flip either...but we have a car!!!!
as for national jewish... we have 2000 in savings and i am praying for miracles. maybe if insurance would pull thru we came use that for travel and go in fall.
ttys~
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Benefit update
Ok, well only a few days left...So exciting...We have a lot of things for the auction...not big stuff but alot still...we have bbq pork, buns, pop, baked beans mac n cheese and potato salad...what a stresser! I have alot alot alot of running to do!
Hope for a good turn out, things will be for the positive...
Gage is doing well, a-little flaired but better. Paige is eating me out of house and home, growing like a weed! SO adorable. I love my babies.
We had an awesome first swimming pool trip.
Hope to see you friday.
Courtney, Gage and Paige
Friday, May 15, 2009
Whats new #2
Well this has been a bad week, Gage is having problems bad with allergy and skin, and I am no longer able to feed my daughter (her father wont let me during her visitation and I don't get anything when I pump). Paige is beautiful, i am worried about her nursing but other than that she's doing awesome...Happy baby. I am on a waiting period with unemployment (that I didn't know exsisted) and so now...my phone will be shut off and maybe my utilities...and just when I thought I would be able to start to afford a car. Gage's dance recital is this weekend...he's doing so awesome and while he loves it I am so glad its about over...it wiped out my small savings account. I am glad that he had the opportunity tho.
Ive been pulling my hair out working on the benefit...mainly because he's bad enough that he has to go back and while people have asked many times why we are going back and forth to mayo when we are trying to save for colorado...its mainly because we all suffer when he isnt ok but mainly him...he needs the current treatment. We desperately need donations for the auction...if you know anyone that can help...please send them my way! its the two week countdown...im worried and praying.
In the mean time, I have marked things for a garage sale, called another photographer to try to sell some of my equipment, been making bows for crafts shows. and praying for miracles.
Ive been pulling my hair out working on the benefit...mainly because he's bad enough that he has to go back and while people have asked many times why we are going back and forth to mayo when we are trying to save for colorado...its mainly because we all suffer when he isnt ok but mainly him...he needs the current treatment. We desperately need donations for the auction...if you know anyone that can help...please send them my way! its the two week countdown...im worried and praying.
In the mean time, I have marked things for a garage sale, called another photographer to try to sell some of my equipment, been making bows for crafts shows. and praying for miracles.
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Going Home.
Well we are sitting here with a little boy that is CRYING...sad because he wants to leave the hospital...but doesn't get to do the things that he looked so forward to...I promised him last week that he would be able to see grampa and go to the aquarium...but now...since its thursday we don't get to because Brandon is not accepting of our family life and I signed a terrible agreement with him that hurts my kids, basically gives us no family time...and yes its my fault I trusted him I believed him when he said sign the agreement I love you we arent going to be apart...but then it was only a matter of days before he left and tore my kids apart. I care very much about this family, and my kids are the ones that are suffering. Paige needs to be with her mother and father...but instead she'd torn between and torn away from Gage.
I am just angry...i want gage healed always, but thats a prayer that has to be prayed forever...and i am mad that my kids dont get to have a normal life because we are interupted and have no time together...Yes I am the bad person for wanting better for them. I am hoping that Brandon is happy with what he's done to my son and daughter...but especially to my son...i hope that someday he relizes the pain he has inflicted on him, the way he let him down, and I really pray that someday someone pays him back for being so incensitive and hurtful. I also pray all the time that Paige doesn't feel like I know she will, the same way I felt when my dad left and tore our family apart.
As for my son and daughter, we will contintue to try to have normal life, keep gage healed, and hopefully move on with our lives as fast as possible...WE DESERVE so much better.
I am hoping that on the way home we will be able to get to see Aunt amy on the way home since Gage doesn't get to see Grampa or the aquarium.
I am just angry...i want gage healed always, but thats a prayer that has to be prayed forever...and i am mad that my kids dont get to have a normal life because we are interupted and have no time together...Yes I am the bad person for wanting better for them. I am hoping that Brandon is happy with what he's done to my son and daughter...but especially to my son...i hope that someday he relizes the pain he has inflicted on him, the way he let him down, and I really pray that someday someone pays him back for being so incensitive and hurtful. I also pray all the time that Paige doesn't feel like I know she will, the same way I felt when my dad left and tore our family apart.
As for my son and daughter, we will contintue to try to have normal life, keep gage healed, and hopefully move on with our lives as fast as possible...WE DESERVE so much better.
I am hoping that on the way home we will be able to get to see Aunt amy on the way home since Gage doesn't get to see Grampa or the aquarium.
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